ADÈLE BLANC-SEC

LES AVENTURES EXTRAORDINAIRES D'ADÈLE BLANC-SEC (2010)
Dir: Luc Besson


I love French comics (bande dessinée), and I'm something of a Luc Besson fan, even if I've found his more recent offerings a bit... lackluster. ANGEL-A was watchable, but not great. ARTHUR AND THE INVISIBLES was a mess (but still spawned two sequels, go figure). THE MESSENGER was nearly unwatchable, and I feel I'm giving it more credit than it deserves just by saying that. That makes LES AVENTURES EXTRAORDINAIRES D'ADÈLE BLANC-SEC his best effort since 1997's THE FIFTH ELEMENT. Certainly, ADÈLE has a lot in common with THE FIFTH ELEMENT. Both are snappily filmed, effects-heavy action fare with comedy overtones. Both feature a former model as the leading lady and have a loving approach to the vast culture of comics in France. Based on the Jacques Tardi series of the same name and set in 1911, Louise Bourgoin (LE PETIT NICOLAS) plays the title character of Adèle, a reporter of some fame who has gone AWOL from her most recent assignment and skipped Peru for tomb raiding in Egypt. Meanwhile in Paris, doctor of anthropology Esperandieu (Jacky Nercessian) has developed a mystical power and used it to resurrect a Pterodactyl from an egg in the Musée du Louvre. The Pterodactyl menaces Paris, killing officials and even scaring the president in his parlor. A bumbling detective is put on the case and Giles Lellouche (MESRINE: KILLER INSTINCT) plays Caponi with great zeal, whether eating or sleeping or looking proud while missing the facts. Jean-Paul Rouve plays Saint-Hubert, a big game hunter brought in to track down the beast, while quiet museum curator Andrej Zborowski (Nicolas Giraud) sways between pining for Adèle and trying to hide the Jurassic-era creature. Adèle returns from Egypt with the mummy of Rameses II's doctor, in the hopes Esperandieu can resurrect it and help save Adèle's brain-dead twin sister. What more can I say? Antics ensue, Adèle smart-talks everyone from camels to police into doing as she says, mummies drink tea and it wraps up neatly while leaving the door open for more adventures.

Besson plays fast and loose with Tardi's original material, ditching much of the cynicism and upping the humor. While Adèle of the books is more of an anti-hero (a criminal even), here she is a celebrity, easily able to get audience with the president of France -- only the moronic police lack respect for her. As expected from Besson and his crew, the camerawork is impeccable (cinematographer Thierry Arbogast has shot every Besson picture since LE FEMME NIKITA), and the recreation of pre-WWI France is stunning. The majority of the actors are delightfully made-up to mimic Tardi's grotesque cast of characters and the Egyptian scenes are lovingly detailed. The performances are impressive, and Bourgoin is a charming and compelling lead. Feel free to play 'Is that an in-joke?' as the film is packed with references to, among other things, Besson's other films. Also, I would guess that Mathieu Amalric's brief (and thoroughly unrecognizable) appearance as a deranged supervillain can only mean a non-Besson directed sequel in the works.

By the way, the lovely ad slick I used for the graphic is from the Shock Cinema Chirashi archive. Chirashi are small film posters distributed in Japan to promote new releases.

Social Networking (and by that I mean the T-word)

I'm going to assume that anyone who is friends with Steve/Shock Cinema on Facebook knows I have a Facebook (non-movie-related for the most part) but I also have Twitter (#uselesstimekiller). I do, at times, talk about film there, especially if it is something that doesn't warrant an actual review (or, I intend to anyway).

Ok, I didn't Twitter about Salt, because I can't come up with 140 characters to say about it that someone else already hasn't. It was a very silly film with lots of action. You knew that after seeing a trailer for it, didn't you? (#youcanreallytellthiswaswrittenfortomcruise) And I didn't write about the first episode of An Idiot Abroad because I was so blotto on painkillers I don't remember a thing about it (#dentalwork).

In my grande attempt to make up for an entire year of NOT writing for Shock Cinema, I am now making a real effort to post here and at Twitter. So, come follow. I guess. If that's your thing. #doyoureallywanttoreadmyrandomthoughts?

MIA?

I'll cop to it. My involvement in Shock Cinema of late has been purely technical. I'd apologize, but proofing and printing and shipping is what gets the issue into your hands. I have a stack of unwatched films to show for it, too! But we're already picking out titles for me to review for both this blog and issue #39.

Every now and again I do manage to squeeze a film in while I'm working away at deadline pace on my freelance-gig-of-the-month. This week it was Pontypool. It reminded me of Kiyoshi Kurasawa's Pulse, in so much as it uses horror/genre settings to say something bigger about society. It's a small film, it takes place in one room of one building and rarely gives a glimpse of anything further -- but still implies devastating impact. It's a stunt many low budget films try to pull and fail. In the case of Pontypool, illustrating the chaos would only have taken away from the claustrophobic character study that is it. It works. On every level it works perfectly. Bruce McDonald never falls too far on the shlocky end nor sways too artsy. It helps that novelist Tony Burgess adapted his own book for the film. Stephen McHattie keeps everything moving and holds attention right through to the end. Lisa Houle manages not to be as annoying as the role calls out to be in the wrong hands. I haven't read Pontypool Changes Everything but I have a feeling I will....

So that's it, my Netflicks pick of the moment.

On a related thread, wow - Stephen McHattie is in everything I have watched over the last ten years!

When Comedy Fails: Two reviews by SC magazine contributor Mike Sullivan

With Meet the Spartans looming ominously over the horizon, I felt it was necessary for people to realize that not every parody movie is as excruciating as those that are written and directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. Typically, they’re much worse.

Nonetheless, in honor of the notly anticipated Meet the Spartans, let’s take a look back at some of the worst films this justifiably maligned genre has to offer starting with this justifiably unknown and barely released Italian misfire.



CHICKEN PARK (1994)
Mocks: Jurassic Park
Directed By: Jerry Cala

Synopsis: Jerry Cala, the pudding that walks like a man, plays a destitute chicken breeder who travels to the Dominican Republic in order enter his rooster in competitive cockfights. After a successful match, Cala’s “cock is stolen” by a pair of thugs named Jelly and Beans (Tee, hee!). The thugs turn out to be working for a short, lisping scientist named Dr. Eggs (Lawrence Steven Meyers who supposedly went on to produce the Diane Laine vehicle Unfaithful) who is creating a race of giant, prehistoric chickens.

What Went Wrong:
Mocks the Russian Roulette scene from The Deer Hunter by replacing the original film’s iconic revolver with six hand grenades filled with soda.

All of the female characters lust after Cala even though he looks like he’s melting and sounds like he’s perpetually asking a question.

Openly rips-off the 91/2 Weeks parody from Hot Shots and then attempts to outdo the original spoof.

Tries to wring laughs out of a scene in which Thing from The Addams Family fingerbangs (Thing-er-bangs?) a Morticia look-a-like (Rossy de Palma) as she watches footage of a botched surgery.

Endless moments where jokes and sight gags barrel along without a purpose or a punchline such as the scene where Cala boards a plane in which half of the passengers are monsters, the bit where an American Indian hatches from a giant egg and the unmotivated cameos from Sherlock Holmes, Jaws, The Yellow Submarine and Mandrake the Magician’s assistant Lothar.

The Final Word: Equal parts grating and disturbing, the film’s mere existence answers the question: “What if somebody took Bunuel’s Un Chien Andalou and dubbed in fart noises and cartoon sound effects over the original soundtrack?”



The Helix…Loaded (2005)
Mocks: The Matrix Trilogy
Directed by: A. Raven Cruz

Synopsis: In this severely muddled and convoluted movie, a group of stoners led by Nuvo (Keanu Reeves sort-a-look-a-like Scott Levy) and Theo (Vanilla “Fucking” Ice) discover a new designer drug called the Helix that, if used properly, can give its users a deep sense of enlightment. Aiding them in their quest are a pair of mysterious yet familiar characters named Infiniti (Samantha Brooke) and Orpheum (Dana Woods) who are searching for someone who can take the Helix without going insane. Unfortunately, events are complicated by Smack, Crack and Jonesin a trio of ill-defined, FBI drug agent cyborgs (or something) who will stop at nothing to acquire the Helix for their own faintly nefarious purposes.

What Went Wrong:
Tries to wring comic possibilities out of an obvious and dated target.

Struggles under the impression that movie references = jokes.

Gives us terrible dialogue that sounds like it was written by a random catch phrase generator (such as, “I see rabbit people,” “You’re making me sober…you wouldn’t like me when I’m sober” and “The first rule of the Helix is: you don’t talk about the Helix”).

Attempts to compensate for the terrible dialogue by encouraging the cast to mug uncontrollably and speak in silly voices.

Turns Lawrence Fishburne’s character into a midget (who later does a Brando impression for no particular reason).

Gives Carrie-Anne Moss’s character a penis.

Two words: Vanilla Ice.

Gives an inexplicable nod to the Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle one-sheet.


Fun Fact: Believe it or not, The Helix..Loaded somehow managed to have its worldwide premiere at Graumannn’s Chinese Theater. Not bad for a movie that’s basically just an expensive fan film.


The Final Word: The essence of the story, for a film like this which is parody and slapstick and kind of goofy and silly, it’s really kind of a underlying tone; and this is kind of something that is very dear to me: the self’s journey, the journey toward self-discovery, the awakening of the hero’s journey. And through this silly little method we have encoded underneath it a much larger, metaphorical mythology, and that is: every person is seeking throughout their lives a happiness or fulfillment.

- A. Raven Cruz on his film The Helix…Loaded


Mike Sullivan http://www.myspace.com/cinemabizarro

Yes, you can rent these titles!

Available on Domestic DVD and still worth watching!

Along with the hundreds of import discs and out of print rarities we sift through week to week, we are also hard core Netflix users, turning around disc after disc, we consume movies! And believe it or not, there are some completely accessible releases that the casual viewer may have missed.

Rampo Noir is a dark string of related vignettes, based on the short stories of Edogaro Rampo. Really savvy anime fans (if such a thing exists) may have caught Rampo homages in the background of the Recent Rozen Maiden tv series. Anyway, Tadanobu Asano tops a cast of excellent actors, the creepy unsettling situations are well photographed and the director takes great pleasure in making very ugly images painfully beautiful. From start to finish, this is horror-gone-art-film worthy of early Cronenberg and Kiyoshi Kirosawa.

Staying in Japan but moving away from fiction, Perfect Fake, a Canadian documentary tackles artificial sexuality in the form of sex dolls, interactive media and... Araki Gentaro's toy sculptures? OK. Well done and informative if a little unsettling.

Princess Raccoon is classical Japanese Opera meets modern story telling. Surreal, beautiful and sometimes stupid but worth watching. Makes better use of Ziyi Zang then Memoirs of a Geisha did for damn sure.

Empire of the Wolves is your pretty basic French Crime yarn with Jean Reno doing what he does best. Works well with the Crimson Rivers films, but not directly related. And no, I will not watch "just anything" because Jean Reno is a cool action hero. I made it through about fifteen minuets of The Corsican Files before I gave up. The allure of French Comedy continues to elude me...

In the mean time I'm still waiting for the entire Alex De La Iglesia collection to be released stateside (I would so like to watch Day of the Beast again...). Or for Attack the Gas Station to slip in with the tidlewave of mediocre Korean cinema available on DVD. I'm tired of telling people about it then remembering the only available version for rental is dubbed into Mandarin and subbed in English-- still unacceptable to purists like myself. However Danger Diabolik came out remastered, and if you've only seen it on a crappy VHS, go, go go put it in your rental queue!

More imports and animation when I return...